As Sure As If

Sky Gilbert
From:   Digressions of a Naked Party Girl. ECW Press, 1998.

Longing is a kind of company
there is a generosity in it
a presence inside the ache
a gift
(standing on the subway and not thinking of you, sure, earlier there had
been something, but then: some skinny boy with fuzzy hair and a receding
hairline -- he had some girl pressed against a pole -- and suddenly it was
you, jumping up and down in my livingroom and saying "If you break my heart,
I'll break your face" and demanding we dye our hair, and it was your fierce
bravery against whatever it is that was killing you, as something so
evidently was, that I loved, very clearly "I have a lesion on my nose" you
said, I didn't bother to ask, I was afraid to ask, why you used that word,
lesion)
I have a feeling you'll turn up
But meanwhile,
there is, like a cold blast of wind in the face,
that whisper, when the cat makes a strange scurrying sound,
the certainty of my longing,
which places you here beside me
as sure as if

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